©Kerzner 2002/2012

*** As you may have noticed, I have been absent for a while here. Not to worry, all is well! I just elected to step away and take care of some other pressing matters that needed attention in one form or another. So, I am back. Thanks for visiting here with us. ***

It has been several months since I have posted here. I have been thinking over some things, working through other things, and just assessing where I am at in my life, and my recovery.

One thing I have noticed is that I try to be more thoughtful before taking a course of action. In my experience, as I get older, the consequences of a decision seem to have more impact and last longer than when I was younger. As a younger person, much more of life seemed to be “black and white.” Now, there are shades of grey that in my mind, figure into decisions as well.

Time seems to be moving faster as I age. I think about events, and then pause and realize that so and so happened 25 years ago, and yet, to me, it seems as though it was only yesterday.

Friends have come and gone. “Friends” have come and gone as well. I am more particular about whom I share time with, and/or devote my time to. I have done some “shit-canning,” or 86ing as most would refer to it; it is the practice of divesting one’s self of baggage. People, places, and things that are not constructive to me, or my recovery are being cast off. One sided relationships have become fewer and fewer, not because I am an asshole, but because some people and places are just not worth my time anymore.

Another reason I have not written is that I have been working on quitting smoking cigarettes for over a year, and still have not quit. For a time, I thought I was being a hypocrite writing about addiction and recovery, and here it is I have not quit the smoking yet. After all, I have been clean and sober since 26 December 1988, but this smoking thing … I have cut back to under 1/2 a pack a day. I have even gone 1-3 days without any. I have concluded that I will quit completely when I am ready, and apparently, I am not ready yet. But, I am working on it.

So, there you have it. I am still evolving, growing, and working on maintaining my recovery. I will continue to work on the areas I am not satisfied with, realizing that some things take time.