Tag Archives: Recovery

About Heroes …

Johnny-Cash

*** As you may have noticed, I have been absent for a while here. Not to worry, all is well! I just elected to step away and take care of some other pressing matters that needed attention in one form or another. So, I am back. Thanks for visiting here with us. ***

I have noticed that lately, every time I turn on the TV, some media outlet is telling me that “so and so is a hero.” Possibly this has been going on for a while, and I am just now noticing? There are reasons that I am not having any of this. First of all, when did we relinquish our perception, our moral standard(s), and our choice to the great void out there that is “The Media,” including so-called Social Media? Secondly, the entities that are held up as heroes today are, for the most part, “the flavor of the week.” Whatever is being pushed down the public’s throat by someone’s agenda, whether that agenda is political, financial, religious, and/or corporate, somewhere in that agenda resides a genuine “hero” by golly!

In my mind, Johnny Cash was a hero. He stuck to his guns and advocated for the prison population at a time when doing so was very unpopular. (It still is!) He fought his way back from the bottom that comes with the self-destructive behavior that often accompanies addiction. He rebuilt his life from the bottom up. He fought for the love he wanted in his life, even though he had to win her back. Although he was not a perfect man, he was an empathetic, giving, humble man.

I have a friend who is a musician. He used to play guitar, and then he was injured in an accident and can’t play anymore due to lessened mobility in his arms. Although he is now in a wheelchair, he rebuilt his his career playing harmonica. He does as many live performances as he can. This past spring he was nominated by his peers for the Best New Artist CD Blues Music Award. That is someone that doesn’t let life get him down. My friend triumphed in the face of adversity. He is a hero.

Helped fund treatment for a friend or donated an organ to save a life? You are a hero!

To me, a single mother who works two jobs, goes to school, and still finds time to guide and raise decent human beings is a hero.

To me, every soldier that fights for our country, and returns to a mostly indifferent nation, is a hero.

To me, Mohammed Ali is a hero. He stood up for his convictions, even when it cost him the Heavyweight Championship. He took his case to the Supreme Court, and won.

To me, people that stand up for what they believe are heroes:

People that advocate for a Woman’s Right To Choose

People that advocate for Voting Rights for all

People that advocate for Marriage Rights for all

People that advocate for those that are less fortunate than themselves

The teachers in Newtown, CT that sacrificed themselves to save their students from an insane gunman are heroes

Mothers, Fathers, and caregivers who go to work each day, hating their jobs, working long hours for dismal pay, trying to meet their responsibilities at home and pay for schooling to advance in life – they are heroes.

People that advocate hate are NOT heroes.

Politicians that disregard the poorest among us are not heroes.

Those who endeavor to treat women as second class citizens by paying them less than men for the same work, limiting their access to health care and birth control, and forcing them to have unnecessary medical procedures prior to obtaining medical care, are NOT heroes.

I am a firm believer in “I can’t describe it, but I know it when I see it.”

Underneath all the bluster, social media, and BS, we all know who the real heroes are.

Learning To Let Go …

let go or be dragged

One key to a good recovery is freedom from our past.

We can take experience gained and lessons learned, and file them away.

If we have some good memories in the past, we can file those away as well.

What we can not do, and should not do, is constantly second guess ourselves about decisions we made.

What’s done is done, and if amends are required (and possible without causing harm to others), we should attend to that when we are ready to do so.

As people in recovery, we have a tendency to beat ourselves up over past mistakes, which really serves no purpose.

If we live in our past constantly, how the hell can we expect to move forward in our lives and grow in our recovery?

We can not let fear and/or the voices of our own demons and detractors (or abusers) keep us mired in things we can not change.

Letting go does not mean we have forgotten; it does not mean we don’t care.

Letting go means we are growing, evolving, and moving on.

Hopefully, we are making progress.

Have you learned to let go yet, or are you still coddling your past?

Against All Odds

Standing Your Ground

Standing Your Ground

For those who have not experienced addiction, it is hard to understand why a person can not simply “say no,” or “stop” their addictive behavior when they choose to do so. To a person who has not experienced the struggle of addiction, stopping is just “a matter of willpower.” I can not tell you how many times I have heard this. If only it were that easy.

Even if the addicted individual could just stop, they would not, simply because they fail to see the real cause of their difficulties. It is not the booze, drugs, sexual liaisons  gambling, etc. that is the problem; no, these things are relief from the real problem(s). In their addiction afflicted mind, the real problem is the boss at work, the wife at home, the troublesome kid in school, the multitude of people that “do not understand” them. The universe is against them. The world is out to get them.

AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) does not call alcoholism a “cunning and baffling” disease without reason. Addiction is one of the few diseases (maybe the only one) that actually tries to talk its captives into staying addicted until they lose their mind, go to jail, or die. Loosing jobs, family, homes, status, money doesn’t matter because the disease convinces us it is not the addicted person’s fault. The goal is triumph of the addiction over the soul of the afflicted; the ultimate result of this is death. This scenario can be applied to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex addiction, and many more addictions.

What makes addiction unique among diseases is that the addicted is the major catalyst for their own recovery and sustainability. They have to fight every day to succeed in staying clean/sober, etc. I was told more than a few times in the rooms of recovery that “For every 10 drunks out there, 1 makes it to the rooms of AA. For every 10 of these, 1 will stay sober for five years.” That is some scary stuff.

If someone wants recovery, they have to work at it … really hard … every day. Every day we are in recovery, we are basically granted a reprieve from our disease, for that day. The next day, we start all over again. If the work required of each individual for their successful recovery is not done, every day, the foundation of that recovery will erode and become unstable. Remember: Our disease is “cunning and baffling.” Our disease waits for these opportunities to undermine our progress in recovery.

So it is that we must stand our ground, and fight every day for our recovery. Sometimes, even in recovery, we are still going to have hard days. Some days will even be downright shitty. Life does not stop because we choose recovery. The assholes of the world are not going to stop being assholes. How we deal with all that is what makes recovery the better option for us. If we want to live, and have a chance for a better life, then we must fight the demons of our addiction(s), against the overwhelming odds that face us. Some of us will even succeed.

The Winds of Change

Firecracker_4896-online

Muhammad Ali once said “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” This is especially relevant to anyone who is in recovery. Most “normal” people change and modify their viewpoints as they travel through the various experiences that life sends their way. On the face of it, this seems very natural. Why shouldn’t this so?

Think about it. As we grow from child to teenager, to young adult, to adulthood; then on into “middle age,” and finally old age, we find ourselves dealing with people, places, and circumstances we could have never imagined. As we progress, life becomes more and more an adventure. We are tested daily. Our threshold for ignorance, hate, stress, indifference, and apathy are pushed to the limit. More and more, we come face to face with our shortcomings and deficiencies. We also (hopefully) experience a deeper appreciation for the good things that come our way. Births, weddings, vacations, or even just a quiet day to ourselves.

So what has really changed? Certainly, the world has not changed. What has changed is us!

For those of us in recovery, this change is one of our saving graces! If we are in the midst of a strong recovery, we have grown spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. Fear no longer rules our lives. We are no longer running from our past and its demons (mostly). With every day, we become more and more at ease with who we are, and we strive to become who we have the potential of being. We put in the work. More and more, we believe we do deserve a better life than the one we were living in our addictions.

Being a non-addicted, thriving, giving, grateful, productive, content you – isn’t that what recovery is about?